一篇很浪漫的散文

Bella

I am the wind， the gentle wind； I am the clouds， the slow， drifting clouds； I am the water， the silent water； I am the mountains， the boundless mountains… If you so want， I will be the gentle wind that will wrap around your lonely spirit！ If you so desire， I will be the slow， drifting clouds that will unquestioningly be your support！ If you so wish， I will be that silent water， without a murmur， protecting you by your side. If you so will， I will love you unrelentingly， just like those boundless， unbroken mountain ranges and valleys！ But， I regret I am not the wind and not able to take care of you. I hate that I am not the clouds and not able to bring you warmth； I pity myself that I am not the water and not able to be so pure； I am angry that I am not the mountains and not able to have my love will be as immovable as I would like. I can only be myself this time， my mortal， earthly self， my only self， the only self that I can ever hope to be. I thirst for love but I do not understand her deep mystery. I strive for transcendence but I would rather be silent and nameless. I want to be mature but I would rather remain innocent. I would like that she love me， but I do not know even if I truly love her！ Endless searching， thirsting， striving， pursuing-where are my goals？ Where is my future？ In this mundane world， I am one lonely speck； in this universe I am a powerless particle of dust. My love， thought beautiful， is nothing great in itself. And so， I ask only to live as well as I can. In truth， there is no need to live one‘s life basking in glory， rising above men—— so long as one’s life has some value， has some security… Fearless and capricious， love will cause me great pain. Youth， transient and inconstant， will bring me loneliness. Work， busy and mindless， will make me lost. I am just searching for and waiting for some of that which shines， that which is radiant in life…
　我是风，轻轻的风；我是云，缓缓的云；我是水，静静的水；我是山，连绵的山…… 如果你愿意，我愿做那轻轻的风抚慰着你寂寞的心灵！如果你愿意，我就是那缓缓的云从容地让你依偎！如果你愿意，我来做你身边静静的水默默地将你守护！如果你愿意，我将会不懈地爱你就象那连绵不断的山川！ 我悔我不是风，因为我不够体贴；我恨我不是云，因为我不够温柔；我怨我不是水，因为我不够清澈；我怒我不是山，因为我的爱不够坚定…… 我只能做回自己，平凡的自己，唯一的自己，寻求中的自己。我渴望爱情但是却不懂她的深奥，我向往不平凡但是却甘愿默默无名。我追求成熟但是我宁愿单纯。我但愿她能喜欢我，但是我又不知道我是否喜欢她。寻求，渴望，向往，追求，哪里是我的目标和未来…… 俗世间我是孤独的一粒，宇宙间我是无为的尘埃，我的爱虽然美好，但并不伟大…… 所以我只是想好好的活着…… 其实人生未必要过的轰轰烈烈，出人头地，。只要过的有价值，活的很踏实…… 无畏的爱，会让我很痛苦；悸动的青春，会让我很寂寞；忙碌的工作，会让我容易迷茫…… 我只是在寻找，我亦是在等待。生命中的璀璨光辉……