Human Resource： Heaven and Hell 人力资源的天堂与地狱

Bella

Human Resource： Heaven and Hell
人力资源的天堂与地狱
　　One day while walking down the street a highly successful HR Director was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself.
　　某一天，一位非常成功的人力资源主管在街道行走时惨遭公车碰撞而死。她的灵魂升到天堂，在天国之门她看到了圣彼得。
　　“Welcome to Heaven，” said St. Peter. “Before you get settled in though， it seems we have a problem. You see， strangely enough， we’ve never once had a Human Resources Director make it this far and we’re not really
　　sure what to do with you.“
　　“欢迎来到天堂，”圣彼得说道，“在你没安顿之前，我们还有个问题。你看，非常奇怪的是，目前还没有一个人力资源主管能升到这么高的，所以我们还不能确定如何解决这个问题。”
　　“No problem， just let me in，” said the woman. “Well， I’d like to，”replied St. Peter， “but I have higher orders. What we’re going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in.”
　　“还有什么问题呀，就让我进来不就成了。”女人说。“当然我很想这样做，”圣彼得回答道，“但是我有更高的指令。这样吧，我们允许你在天堂和地狱分别待一天，然后再来由你自己决定哪个地方安度来世。”
　　“Actually， I think I’ve made up my mind， I prefer to stay in Heaven，”said the woman.
　　“其实我已经决定了，我更愿意带在天堂里。”女人说。
　　“Sorry， we have rules……” And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.
　　“对不起，可我们有规矩……”于是，圣彼得将这位行政主管带到升降梯里，电梯不断的降啊降，来到了地狱。
　　The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her.
　　门打开了，她发现自己踏上了一片碧绿的高尔夫球场。远处隐约可见一个乡村俱乐部，她的一些老朋友和人力资源的同事们身着晚礼服，向她欢呼。
　　They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy （kinda cute） and she had agreat time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it， it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and she found St. Peter waiting for her.
　　朋友们都向她跑来，吻她的双颊，一起缅怀美好的旧时光。打了一圈漂亮的高尔夫后，他们带她到乡村俱乐部里享用了美味的牛排和龙虾。在那里她还见到了魔鬼撒旦，发现他其实也挺可爱。说着笑话，跳着舞曲，欢乐的时光竟然如此快地就要结束了。在踏上电梯前时，朋友们和她一一握手告别。电梯升啊升，重新回到了天国之门，她发现圣彼得正在门口等她。
　　“Now it’s time to spend a day in heaven，” he said. So she spent the next 24 hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St.Peter came and got her. “So， you’ve spent a day in hell and you’ve spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity，” he said. The woman paused for a second and then replied， “Well， I never thought I’d say this， I mean， Heaven has been really great and all， but I think I had a better time in Hell.” So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell.
　　“现在是时间开始你的天堂之旅了，”他说。于是她慵懒的躺在云端，撩拨着竖琴，放声歌唱。愉快的一天又要结束了，圣彼得来到她面前，“你已经在天堂和地狱分别度过了一天，现在可以选择你的归宿了，”他说道。女人停顿了一会儿回答道，“我从没想到自己会这样说，嗯，天堂的确不错，但是我认为在地狱的时光更快乐。”于是圣彼得把她送到了下往地狱的电梯口。她就这样降啊降，回到了地狱。
　　When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.
　　但梯门打开时，她发现自己站在一个荒凉的废墟里，满处都是垃圾和污秽。她看到自己的那些朋友们竟然穿着破烂不堪，正在将垃圾捡到麻袋里。撒旦向她走来，伸手搂住了她。
　　“I don’t understand，” stammered the woman， “yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is， is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable.”The Devil looked at her and smiled. “Yesterday we were recruiting you，today you’re staff……”
　　“我不明白，”女人结结巴巴地说，“昨天我在这的时候，还是一片高尔夫球场，还有乡村俱乐部，我们还吃了龙虾，唱歌跳舞，非常快乐。但现在这里却只剩下一片废墟，垃圾遍地，我的那些朋友们也痛苦不堪。”魔鬼看着她，笑道，“昨天我们在这里招聘新人，今天你已经成为我们的一员了……”
　　Note：
　　Pearly Gates： 天国之门
　　Human resource（HR）： 人力资源
　　Golf Course： 高尔夫球场
　　Steak： 牛排
　　Lobster： 龙虾
　　Desolate： 荒无人烟的
　　Filth： 污秽，不清洁的东西
　　Miserable： 苦难的，痛苦的